Tasteastravels

I know a knife and a fork is good for times when you want to show that you are better than animals and toddlers. But I do not care about these things because as a foodie nothing will make me feel embarrassed about the food that I pay for or how I should eat it.
So to go against the grain and show the world that though a knife and fork keeps your hands from getting dirty and your face from looking like a dirty dish rag. I have written 7 reasons why a knife and fork are a waste of time and should be banished.
1. I am hungry.
When you go to a restaurant to eat after a long day of running errands. the only thing that is on your mind when you finally get your food is, “get in my belly”. I do not have the time to pick up a knife and fork and then go through the steps of how to use a knife and fork. And by the time I have processed what I was taught as a a kid, Christ comes and its the rapture. When did eating become a 10 step program in which you have to repeat and do over if you didn’t get it right the first time. I just want food in my tummy.
2.Eating a salad is torture by itself.
Why add a knife and fork to the boring party? I mean why do you need to cut foliage any way? It is lettuce and tomatoes and maybe some nuts. The faster you can eat the salad and move on to the main dish the better. Unless the salad is your only meal then take your time. Sometimes going through pain slowly makes it bearable.
3.Pizza is a fun food don’t kill its vibe.
Pizza does not need to be disrespected by being cut again by a knife or fork. Now I will admit that I have used a knife and fork to cut my pizza but that was because I didn’t get the chance to wash my hands. That is why certain foods really should only be eaten at home for indulging purposes. But pizza already comes sliced up for your convenience and to cut it up again takes the reasoning out of pizza. And the reason for pizza is to have a fun food that is tasty and convenient. Which brings me to reason four.
4.Fried chicken has its own utensils, the bones.
How many foods can you pick up with two fingers and not get messy. Even with pizza you cant get away with using two fingers and a chicken wing was designed to make life simpler for the one that knows how to appreciate the greatness of a good fried chicken wing. So stop using a knife to cut through the chicken it is so disrespectful to the chicken that gave its life for us to enjoy its tender, juicy wing.
5.I am a Toys R US kid and I don’t want to grow up.
If toddlers do not have a problem using their hands. Why should we feel like we are better than them. Just because we are older? I know most parents look at their small children with envy because those little rug rats get away with a whole lot of, “I do not give a damn”, behavior.
Sometimes it is embarrassing and other times it is funny. As a grown adult you realize that the toddler stage is the best time to be alive, even better than your teens. Living carefree, napping whenever and wherever, being waited on by a grown up and doing whatever comes to mind. Including eating with your hands. Oh the joys of having no etiquette. So why should we let the kids have all the fun? We already have to deal with rush hour traffic, come on adults lighten up.
6.”A dishwasher is my friend!” Said nobody ever.
Who is going to load and unload the dishwasher? I never had the “pleasure” of using a dishwasher until a few years ago when I was living with a family member. His family used the dishwasher frequently and I thought it was a great piece of machinery the first couple of times I used it because I just would have to load the dirty dishes and turn the machine on. But after having to do this almost every night. I hated this thing it was no longer a cool moment. I think it was at this time in my life that I realized not all technology is great. Loading the dishwasher is easy. Take the plates and a hand full of utensils and put them in their slots. Then comes the arduous task of unloading the dishwasher. The plates and cups are not a problem, but those knives and forks are no fun. I hated it I do not want to do it no more.
7. Sporks are really neglected.
The fork does it all. A fork can slice and pick up most foods if not all. But a spork saves lives. How could you say no to using a spork. It is a spoon and fork in one. You know some times when you are eating grains, mostly rice, and one or two fall out of the fork before getting to your mouth. With a spork it can prevent such a disaster and if you have soup and a salad you only have to use one utensil. Do you know how much time would be saved with sporks? A spork is the holy grail of all eating utensils. Invest in one it changes lives.

Those are my reasons to give up the knife and fork routine and get in touch with nature. If you decide to take it a step further and use your hands while eating out at a fancy restaurant. I cant help you bruh. People will stare. I am not saying that you shouldn’t use a knife or fork. I just wrote this so you can think about why you do the things you do. I hate using a knife because it is a daunting task for me. A fork usually does the job quite well and if my steak is so tough that I have to use a serrated knife I don’t want it. But just keep in mind that food is fun lets not take away from enjoying a fun night out by being too proper and lets not judge others in the process, just take a picture. I kid.